Admitting When You Are Done Can Be tough

I hate admitting this but these past two weeks have sucked! They have sucked, a lot. I have felt so down, guilty, lost, kicked these past two weeks and I finally am ready to admit it.

miss my baby

UGH I MISS HER TOO MUCH

I hate when people feel bad for me. I like to let people know what's going on with me. I am just open like that. I don't tell people because I want their sympathy, or their help or pitty. I tell people because 1. It helps me cope with whatever is going on, and 2 because I find medical things interesting. I tell people because I'm always curious of what is wrong with people, that they may be interested in what is going on with me. I haven't been telling my professors about my arm because I want to get out of work, I tell them if they have to read my hand writing, because I physically can not write (or type) with my right hand and my left handed hand writing is close to that of a preschooler.

The two things I could really use hugs from

 I have felt so guilty the last two weeks for being all self absorbed in my life. I feel horrible that so many people feel bad for me.  I think it is  weird when people feel bad for me. I don't know what to do or how to act. Don' get me wrong, I love when people ask, I just feel guilty when they feel bad for me. I'm not so sure why this happens. It could be because my whole life I have always felt bad for someone else, so I don't like when the tables are turned, it  feels wrong.  

T

missing her  so much!! i hate being so far away

 In addition to feeling guilty I have felt extremely frustrated. With simple tasks, school work, and the doctor and physical therapist.  Unlike the doctor refuses  to believe, I have been using and moving my hand and wrist, just in a modified way which they said was fine. I practice my exercises constantly while I'm walking to class, sitting in class, or eating lunch. I really am trying. I may be trying to hard because sometimes it hurts, and other times I'll go to bed with a high pain level from moving it all day.  I really have been trying and I have been making progress.

I'm not really to sure how to explain everything else, So I'm leaving it at this....